New Diagnosis, Kidney Tumor

This is scary for me!!  Being a nurse and knowing that tumor often means cancer, I'm worried and upset and just want to cry!!

He is so oblivious to what is about to happen to him I keep thinking that this better be it for my little family now!!

Nicholas's first appointment is with the urologist on Monday June 10, 2013.  So my next thought is work and more to the point day care and so on, just for my schedule, being very busy!

We did see this urologist and Dr Haidar nice man needs a little more personality for my liking, when it comes to kids, but can't complain.

He wants Nicholas to have a CT scan to look at the tumor but did say that if the radiologist thinks that an MRI would be better that, that is what he will have.  Nick will need sedation being 2 1/2 he won't lay still.  So when that comes back we will know if this is likely to be cancer or not.  But either way this doctor thinks that the tumor needs to come out and I have to agree with the tumor being about 7cm at the longest point.

So in saying this, this type of surgery cannot be done in the Sault, so another trip to Sick kids this summer.  And here I am so Happy that we don't have to go back until next April or may.  Oh well best place in Canada for him I think, this is what they do!! Kids!!

Nicholas doesn't seem to be having many problems from this but he does come up to me occasionally saying that he is having pain, in various places but generally around where his kidney is, whether he has pain in his back, side or belly its always on the left side where is points.  so Advil or Tylenol when he complains until it doesn't work anymore or the thing comes out!!

I'll write when I have dates for anything and whenever I'm feeling blue, kinda like when I wrote for Lucas.  but my thoughts right now is why couldn't we have had enough of this type of shit.  I feel like yelling at someone so hard I cant talk anymore.  In fact I told God last night he couldn't have him back!!  He gave him to me after a long struggle and he couldn't have him back yet.  It is way too soon.  I love my little Guy as much as my big one and I wouldn't let him go either.!!

So until next time!!

HE IS MINE, SORRY BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM.  AND MOM YOU CAN WAIT TO HOLD HIM.  I STILL NEED HIM IN MY LIFE!!